| Run No:- | 1043 |
Date:- 17th March 2003 |
| Location:- | Onnuj Soi 66 - St Patrick's day run | |
| Hare:- | John 'TQ' Courtney | |
| Scribe:- | Web Fucker - GM of The Hague HHH | |
It's 7:30AM, just before I'll be picked up for my business appointment, as I check the Internet, whether there is a hash in Bangkok on Monday. Being in Bangkok for just one day, only one appointment in my agenda, my hashing boots still soaking from Saturday's run in Kuala Lumpur, I find the Bangkok Monday HHH web page and am impressed by the informative site. Does your Web Master have a life? Anyway, the run directions I copy for the St. Patrick's Day Run are extensive and totally confusing for a first-timer in Bangkok as well as my taxi driver.
Nevertheless, armed with the "run directions" I
enter into an afternoon taxi, only to find out that:
A) the driver does understand any English;
B) I do not understand any Thai; and
C) the driver might know his way around perfectly in Bombay and might have
immigrated recently to Thailand and still has the topology of his place of
birth memorized in his head, but Bangkok roads, soi's and subsoi's are
totally alien to him.
Half an hour later I find out that we are on the wrong expressway, and try
to guide the totally confused driver with the run directions: the ultimate
test whether they are correct. After the third or fourth left turn my driver
starts to panic, as the trip seems to lead to "no-where-land" and
my directions are not making him more comfortable. When we finally reach a
concrete separator in the road I order him to stop, pay him, and leave him
with an expression on his face of total non-comprehension.
I arrive early, so the run directions weren't all that bad, despite the complaining of all the later-comers: if I could find it, all the "locals" with their sense of direction where Patpong is, should be able too. Slowly an odd 40+ hashers, guests, new boots, gather around and two visible blobs of flour promises that the hare, TQ, actually laid a trail, straight into promising shiggy country. And shiggy country is was….
The hare decided to take us to the more local scenery of Bangkok's surroundings and the trail veered to the left into a rural setting of small lakes (presumably with small monsters of Loch Ness, as the water surface always seemed alive) and across many residential premises, leaving the local population no peace. The hare, TQ, spent a considerable amount of money to bribe the locals to give us wrong directions and we found ourselves totally lost couple of times. Cunning back checks also kept the pack together and for those who wanted spiritual help from above, the hare led us along to a mosque for those needing higher intervention. Then I was caught on what turned out to be "the wrong side of the water". My boots still soaking from Saturday's run in Malaysia, I thought "What the heck, let's do it" and soon found myself, Frisky and some other hashers, stupid enough to follow a first-time visitor to Bangkok, wading knee-deep in slime.
Bangkok Monday HHH has taste for quality when it comes to beer. Big bottles of Heineken, chilled to perfection, were awaiting the thirsty pack on its return, as well as some undefined pasta, which merely served as something to wet our thirst more, which is always a good excuse to take seconds. At that time my legs (and Frisky's too) started to burn from the contaminated water we waded through. It also seemed to work as a mosquito repellent as no mosquito dared to land on my legs, leaving me alone as I seemed to be radioactively contaminated.
The GM called the circle, candle-lit by a small torch and secured by a local female marine in camoflage head, carrying half of Bangkok's flora on her head. Visitor's were called upon, and I found myself with a luke-warm Guinness in my hand, which had close similarity with the fluids in the ponds we passed during the run. Next the hare was called in to take the crap from the circle, which didn't seem to recognize a good run, even when it has no beer-stops. It definitely was a good run by my (low) standards! New boots were called in and treated with warm Guinness, after which the RA took reign over the circle. First the St. Patrick's dressers were (mis)treated to the Irish stout, after which the Dutch being closest to Irish were called in (Dutch people are indeed as the Irish, but just without the generosity!) and this time I found something closer to a real beer in my hand: a Carlsberg, even slightly chilled. Wow, evolution goes fast in Bangkok Monday HHH!
The circle was brought to an end after awarding the Prick of the Week to the hare, TQ, and calling upon visiting GM, me, who's joke died in the second sentence due to gross non-appreciation of alien hash culture.
The location of the On-On caused some confusion, as the hare had arranged a restaurant, totally ignoring a fellow-hasher's offer to use her (huge) place. The hare soon realized his mistake and about 30 people ended up in a 10+ km long drive to the place of the hasher, who claimed that the easiest way to her place was "go right, left, left, right, …. It's only about 1.5 km". Food was good, beer was cold and the karaoke was switched on for those fools that actually believed they could sing! Hashers were threatening to leave before the food was on the table if they didn't shut up.
The evening ended in a taxi back to the hotel, with a taxi driver instructed by your Hash Cash, how to bring me back to the hotel. I guess your hash cash is better in accounting than in piloting, as I ended up in the wrong side of town, with loads of bars and clubs. Whether Web Fucker could withstand those temptations might be described in a separate Scribe Report. All in all, a great "thank you" for a fantastic run, hospitable crowd and nice On-On! Hope to be back soon.
On Out
Web Fucker
Grand Master The Hague HHH
(the hash which never runs… out of beer!)
*****
On Monday 17 March we had 20 Harriers, 9 Harriettes, 2 new boots and 3 visitors, total = 34. Returners included Dick "Lick Dearly" Leary, Tim "Crash" Daly, Clive "Rabid Bitch" Bryon, Narest "Nearest & Dearest" R., Brian "Brain Health" Heath and Joost "Hashendale" Zwager. Welcome to New Boots Ken Hill and Frank "Rubber Turd" Kvistgaard.
