Write Up

Run No:-	1081	Date:- 8 December 2003
Location:-	The Port
Hare:-	Rod Turner
Scribe:-	?

Your scribe is severely hung over so this write-up will at least be as good or bad as the last one he did. How does AKM manage to teach in this condition or Beefeater, Sugar Daddy or Mini for that matter. I digress…..

15 hardy Dutch? Souls alighted from the boat at Tha Lua Klong Toey along with a similar amount of Victorian looking ladies bicycles. A group of suckers who had just paid 800 baht for a trip around the peninsula. No ladies nor the hotel. We were about to get a better tour for 150 and with free piss and snacks (thanks) thrown in. Where the fack was the Bug had he actually set a run? This sentiment was echoed by a few. Including your scribe who was trying to wind up the new GM. “It is your responsibility. What happens if he has forgotten?” Joylide flashed the boatman, with what I didn’t see. Not sure the boatman did either. We thought it must be our boat as we hadn’t seen the Bug so 38 hardy soles boarded the ~~bus~~ boat. The usual picturesque crossing of the river. What the fack? Another boatload of cyclists (note your scribe using the correct term and not the sometimes appropriated “bikers”) getting into a boat and hogging the pier. “Get the …something out of the way”, suggested Disgusting, “it is past 5.30 and it will be getting dark soon”. Love Canal consulted his GPS and told Disgusting that actually sunset would be at 5:50 and that darkness would follow 20 mins later. !@#$%^& or something Turkish was the response.

“Yeh”someone shouted and we looked around to see a big smile, under a large set of eyebrows, standing on the pier. Yes we had a run. “It’s a boat pickup,” said The Bug, lying bustard¹. Off we set up the road. After about 300m Bullet was heard to gasp, “Blighmy I’m knackered already. On Saturday we wouldn’t be running yet. What the hell is wrong with these people?”

But not wishing to let the side down and wishing to try out his new 4000 Baht orthodics Bullet soldered on to the first check. Left, right or straight? It was left. Can’t remember anything more of note about the actual run. No Meat was out front as Weedy was holding back. Apparently it was her turn to come first. “Who the Fack cares,” said Hashendale. “I come first whether my wife wants to or not”. Noriega didn’t fall over. Hey where was Noriega. “Oh he went to Pattaya to stay at the Hard Rock Hotel as someone gave him a free voucher” Where was Frisky? Or Lion King for that matter.

Ok so we ran through 3 wats² , lots of dogs, smiling children and had 9 checks all the time thinking < except Bullet who knows all > That we where running to a boat pickup. As darkness descended we where still running. “ I can’t see a !@#$% thing”, exclaimed Bullet so he graciously allowed Deep Shag to pass so she could use her cat-like vision to lead the way. Where is everyone else? Oh we got! @#$% up back there when No Good Boyo led us down a false off paper trail. At last ON IN so we followed the trail, or was it as we where off paper, out to a road. But there was another check. Some turned left, some followed like sheep, some stopped. “We are off paper, we should go back and find the real trail” then someone else figured out that we were at the first check and the road leads to the pier. Back to the Sanitary Section, so named because everyone dashes into the toilets after the run. Except notables like Man Called Horse who used traditional hash showering facilities standing behind his new Scandinavian car and Beefeater who did likewise standing beside his Italian classic.

In attendance were 41 hashers. If you’re into gender studies, then for your information there were members with testicles and 13 with ovaries. As to visitors, in a more normal mode of descriptive writing, there was one male visitor and two female visitors. Apparently no one of note, like Mick Jagger (well, he was in Burma last week) or Lord Lucan (eff knows where he is) because we haven’t got their names!

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