Run No:-

1165

Date:- 18 July 2005

Location:- 

Bang Yai Y junction

Hares:-

Rod "The Bug" Turner

Scribe:-

George "of the jungle" Morgan

The Bug was already in high spirits when hashers returned to the Y junction prompting several to speculate that his trail laying had been inspired by a few pre-run pick-me-ups.  Your scribe arrived uncharacteristically late and, there being no Bug in sight, set off as best he could to find the trail. 

Normally the trail goes for a few hundred yards down the road and turns left down an alleyway marked in Thai Soi Moo 10.  For an abrupt change this time an arrow beckoned to the left prematurely and the trail went past a house into the jungle.  Before long the trail crossed a ditch that involved slithering down a steep, slippery, muddy slope, stepping on a half submerged log and scrambling up another steep slippery bank on the other side.  As I was wondering how many hashers had slipped into the fetid water it suddenly dawned on me that there was no more paper on the other side, only clouds of huge blood thirsty mosquitoes and large biting ants.  So after a futile attempt to find another way back across the ditch and being bitten a hundred times it was back to the slithering on all fours again.  That had lost me a good 15 minutes and no there was definitely no hope of catching the pack. 

Picking up the trail again I suddenly recognized a single bamboo pole bridge I had crossed earlier and then another.  Soon I found myself coming back to the main road by the little house again.  Very odd.  I had been on paper the whole time.  Must have missed a subtle twist and criss-crossed the trail.  Nothing for it but to try Soi Moo 10.  Sure enough the ONIN was located 100 yards down Soi Moo 10.  So now I could run the trail backwards and meet the pack that way.  I estimated the time it should take to meet the pack that added another 10 minutes but still no pack.  Then I turned a corner still following a clear trail and a little popped up of the jungle telling me in Thai, “No they went that way”.   This was clearly impossible seeing as I was doing the trail backwards and was following paper going at right angles to the direction the girl was pointing.  But in fact she was right.  The trail criss crossed itself again and the out trail was barely visible down a small path.   At this point, I decided that discretion is the better part of valour and, rather than subject myself to more trail crosses and the possibility of getting back in the dark in time for meager social drinking offerings, legged it back on the in trail. 

Most of the pack had still not made it back but soon the Y was resounding to the clamour of raised voices protesting four checks in one temple compound and the confusing use of BH3 markings that may or may not have been left over from the Saturday hash.  After hearing the hare loudly accusing Guzman of being an idiot for wanting to build a house with a flat roof in Tennessee, JMs Hash Hash and Beefeater decided it was time to command a circle.   Former GM George of the Jungle got a down down for appointing a dysfunctional committee.  John McBirnie was christened Grecian 2000 in recognition of his usage of the famous bottled preparation to erase the effects of time on his coiffure.   This has proved highly convincing in the dimly lit hostelleries of Soi Nana but didn’t fool the eagle eye of Hash Hash.   

In the absence of RA Hashendale and the reluctance of 1st Asst RA Thebathiane Lavoie to officiate, 2nd Asst RA Acharn Kee Maow took over and brought Thaksin look-alike Pink Panther into the circle to commemorate the seventh anniversary of the founding of the Thai Rak Thai Party on 14th July.   A group of people, includng Tim Joylide Wienands, who admitted to having had sex with one or more French nationals, then came in to celebrate Bastille Day, which was also on 14th July.  A female German visitor called Marianne who had got lost on the run won the POW by a comfortable margin and wasn’t sure whether to put on her head or around her loins, finally opting for the latter.  Finally the circle dissolved into anarchy as the hare who had seemed lost in deep contemplation suddenly erupted without warning and demanded that JM Beefeater explain why he was such a stupid f*cking idiot.  The situation was further exacerbated by Beefeater’s refusal to come up with a prompt explanation in response to this apparently reasonable enquiry.  At this point the company adjourned over the road for the OnOnOn. 

Food was actually quite good despite gratuitous amounts of sugar needlessly dumped into the pak bung fai daeng by the cook bent on consigning her customers to early death from type 2 diabetes.   Despite Beefeater’s provocative recalcitrance the Bug seemed to reach a new level of enlightenment and calm over dinner, alternately praising the food, taking brief naps and ravenously tucking into a whole fish grasped in his clammy hands.  He even polished off the remains of a seeringly hot dish of som tam poo plarah ordered by Deepshag, chilies and all, despite the fact that it was too spicy for Joylide and others to eat. 

Roused by the Bastille Day toast and wishing to celebrate the spirit of fraternite, egalite etc Thebathiane decided to redistribute Tim Marie Antoinette Crash Daly’s wine to the poor and needy and her remaining half bottle was swiftly glugged down straight from the bottle by grateful, thirsty hashers who were showered with ice by Deepshag in retaliation.  Crash left in disarray to rush home for immediate refueling before the new 10 pm curfew kicked in.  Finally the bill arrived and after screwing it up into a ball and smoothing it out again the hare counted the assembled company several times coming to a different conclusion each time and finally handed over a plastic bucket of bank notes which along with the bill had been screwed up into balls and smoothed out again.  Thanks to the Bug for arranging a great run and OnOn.

****

On Monday 18 July we had 5 Harrietes  and 19 Harriers (including Rod Turner the Hare) making a total of 24 runners.  We had one female visitor from Germany (Marion Kupper - "Bleed Runner"), and amongst the returners were Rod Turner, Paul Loke, Roberto Guzman, Graeme Bywater and Tim Wienands.

 

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