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Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers
Running and drinking beer since 1982. Website last updated: 29/06/07
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Run:- 1265 Date:- 18 June 2007.
Location:- Deli Home Restaurant, Bang Yai
Hare:- Greg Cable
Scribe:-???Visitors Square and Root from Phuket joined the Landmark taxi squad for the ride to the run site. Traffic was heavy and taxis were scarce so 10 or 12 people had to pile into one vehicle. How fortuitous then that 4X2 and Eat Me just happened along as the taxi was waiting at a red light. Square and Root braved the lane splitting motosighs and conducted their own Chinese Fire Drill, jumping into the spacious back seat of 4X2's literal pickup. However, the damage was done; the heavy human cargo that remained took its toll on the poor taxi, and it threw its transmission out just as the group turned into the driveway of the Deli Home restaurant. I wonder if that driver will ever again pick up a mob of badly dressed foreigners...
4X2 and Eat Me had arrived just before the taxi expired and a tearful reunion ensued between Bogdiver, T-Rex, Square, and Root, as it was revealed that the foursome used to have some type of sordid relationship in years past, apparently involving diving and rooting and other wet, squishy activities. Ugh!
As rain had recently fallen, the group anticipated a cool but slippery run. Indeed, the trail was slick and caution was the order of the day, especially over the numerous "bridges" - spans so narrow and precarious that the Great Blondin himself would have scooted across on his butt, as many in the pack were forced to do. At most crossings, Anal Rape graciously agreed to bring up the rear, so to speak, sparing any followers the sight of his rancid rim. Mud trails
that are crowned in the middle are just as treacherous, upending visitor Square who spent more time on her a** than Oprah at an all-you-can-eat buffet. One stretch of mud had seemingly been host to a parade of changs, the surface pockmarked with huge regularly spaced craters. Lighter runners such as K. Oil fair better in such conditions, and she set the pace for the rest to follow.
Hares Tickler and Bugs configured an hour and they were pretty gosh darn close. Only 4X2 and Eat Me lagged behind at an hour thirty, still not recovered from their matrimonial exertions. Thumbs up all around for an nice trail!
History class started on time. The subjects of the day's lecture was "Waterloo and Tyler Two." In 1815, James Crapper and Steven Tyler's lips considered a bid for Joint Masters of BMH3. Their campaign started out well, with strong support from the liberal south and central factions. However, the OF party's tactic of throwing feces on the trio forced their withdrawal and the result was an uncontested victory for OF.
Obviously, nobody could really understand the history lesson. As we all stopped learning decades ago, the crowd was hungry for raw, primitive, animal entertainment. That's why we're in a ring - we wanna see blood! We wanna see T-Rex rip LoveBug's head off. Well, not really...maybe just a good mauling. But Lovebug has scurried off again, so the frenzied audience must make do with Noriega. Instead of bread and circuses, Noriega promises reason and enlightenment. Why merely to hear him outline his treatise on 21st Century Man's existential conversion to a hash based economy is enough to make the staunchest clock-punching neo con hop off the capatalist treadmill and open a wheat grass cafe on Samui. Cast Off Your Old Tired Ethics, climb up onto the coyote bar, tilt your head back and let Uncle Frank's magick flow into your starving synapses.
Pricks of the Week were Root Mean Square, but that pales compared to what happened next. Just as everybody is about to abandon ship, it is announced that today is Steve "Tastes Great" Furst's birthday. And on this happy day...he's paying for the On On On! Hah! Have you ever seen Munch's masterpiece "The Scream" ? It looks like a Smiley Face compared to Shhhteeverino's mug the moment he hears that he has been allowed to host the rapidly growing crowd on an all-expenses-paid trip to Stupidville. Suddenly, people who have never done more than crawl a few meters on trail are bounding from their limousines and sprinting into the restaurant. Who'd have known that Sugar Daddy is actually a faster runner than Non Stop! The broken down taxi driver stopped scraping the "I <Heart> Farangs" sticker off his window and joined the fun.
At one point, it felt like the top of the restaurant was going to blow off. The music, the cheer, the goodwill, the flatulence, the energy!...it was amazing. Birthdays are a great thing, especially other peoples'. And because it was Tastes Great birthday, not his wedding, he DOESN'T have to pay! The Hare, Greg "The Tickler" Cable, all around great guy that he is, tore up the bill, threw us all on his back and carried us over the khlong. On On!
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On Monday 18 June we had 14 Harriers, 11 Harriettes, 0 new boots and 2 visitors, total = 27. Welcome back to returners Jeff "Bugs" Gay and Rin "Jumpstart" Hoberhaus.
