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Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers
Running and drinking beer since 1982. Website last updated: 05/12/07
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Run:- 1288 Date:- 26 November 2007.
Location:- Time 2 restaurant, near Ratchapruek Roundabout
Hare:- Ex GM Lem "No Good Boyo" Morgan
Scribe:- AKMLast Monday saw the first BMH3 run to take place under the new Canal Rapee administration. Anticipation ran high as long-time hashers waited to see how the new regime would distinguish itself from its predecessors, and how it would compare to the halcyon days of the past. The haring was to be done by the immediate past GM, No Good Boyo, who had cunningly taken early retirement from his official position at the age of 64, thereby generously obviating the need for the BMH3’s Chancellor of the Exchequer and Comptroller of the Privy Purse, Spinning Dwarf, to delve into the Hash coffers to fund a ‘golden handshake’ in a year’s time.
The run was to be set from Tien Lai restaurant, over the Rama 5 Bridge in the sunlit fields of Nonthaburi, scene of many a hash run over the years and likely, for those in the right frame of mind, to evoke a nostalgia similar to Francis Thompson’s when looking back on a lifetime of cricket watching at Lord’s”.
For the field is full of shades as I near a shadowy coast,
And a ghostly batsman plays to the bowling of a ghost,
And I look through my tears on a soundless-clapping host As the run stealers flicker to and fro,
To and fro:
O my Hornby and my Barlow long ago !
Long ago.
But, as Dylan said, ‘don’t look back’. And so it was with eyes firmly fixed on the future that a sizeable pack assembled in the carpark and were started on their way in firm yet warm tones by the new GM.The run took the pack out onto the main road and then right into the trails among the orchards. The area had been heavily hashed recently apparently, although since said heavy hashing had taken place on runs predominantly attended by the senescent and the oviparous, I had not attended. The hare had dutifully attempted to counter the over-abundance of paper by marking his trail in blue arrows although this failed to prevent confusion.
Possibly precisely because of this confusion, the trail worked well. Several times the hardworking frontrunners like Tastes Great, Beefeater, and A Man Called Horse found themselves off trail or working hard to catch up with the walkers. Indeed, one particular area of overlapping new and old trails saw the Horse and I run a loop, which brought us back to exactly, where we had started (on the trail, if not in our lives).
Once out of the orchards, the unmarked on-in had us running down about two kilometers of a side road before rounding the corner on the main drag back to the restaurant. This last part showing the deft hand of the co-hare Genghiz’s desire to get back as speedily as possible to the beer. As desire which, like many in his life, was destined to be fulfilled only with difficulty and with additional expenditure. The reasons for this became apparent as each hasher made his sweaty, thirsty way into the car park. Crash Daly’s advancing menopausal state had caused her to become bewildered on the drive to the run site, thereby delaying her until around 6.30pm. Still, the hare’s affability was undented, if not his confidence in his successor. He graciously handed out stylish black T-shirts made from some super-wicking, fast drying, ultra-lightweight material, of the type favored by the Ticker for his giveaways, although pleasingly without vulgar advertising slogans gratuitously promoting the business venture of a relative, the products of which are apparently not available in Thailand anyway. Indeed the T-shirts provided a nice contrast both in material, serviceability, quality, and design, to the arse rags distributed at AGM the preceding week.
Once all were dressed in pleasingly fascistic uniform black, it was on to the business end of the evening: the circle. Here we would witness the oratorical powers of the new GM on display, and be able to see if he were demagogue or hypnagogue.
The circle began with the fresh, if not fresh-faced GM going through the formalities in a workmanlike fashion. I believe he attempted to inject some humor and personal touches but I was too busy talking about mathematics and vocabulary with Sugar Daddy to pay much attention. I note, however, that the general banality was interrupted by the hare being given a cake with so many candles burning on it that it probably contributed more to global warming than all the cow farts in New Zealand.
Following the GM’s performance, we were treated to some retro RA activities as the previous GM had seen fit to lumber us with Hash Hash as RA, thereby giving us all a flashback to the comedic stylings of the mid- 90s. His stint was followed up by a brief appearance by the work experience RA Bruised Willie, who showed us once again that guys who are often really funny in a small group of like-minded individuals tend to suck when in front of a larger group (this is known as Love Canal syndrome). Fear of offending middle-aged lesbians or their brothers should never come between an RA and his duty. Still, the young, but bald, RA has another 51 weeks to hone his skills (lame cat burglar jokes notwithstanding).
Following the circle, and a suitable period of social drinking – a campaign pledge of the new GM’s to which I will return – we repaired to the restaurant. Some bog standard Thai on-on-on fare was served, the highlight being some fried khlong vegetables that Eat Me sent back to the kitchen with the request that the cook be produced and forced to eat some of it, so salty and disagreeable was the dish. Still, I doubt many hashers, most of whose palates are as undeveloped as a four-year-old boy’s penis, even noticed – leaving aside those who have had a four-year-old boy’s penis in their mouths.
After-dinner social drinking was enlivened by a discourse from Spinning Dwarf on the art of winning like a winner and how his happiest moments involved controlling a table full of Jews in Krabi about 15 years ago. Other events included Jumpstart talking incomprehensible nonsense and buying the hare a beer out of her own pocket and the new GM itemizing the things that will define his administration. The key things being: -
No differential pricing at on on ons i.e., women pay the same as men, if you don’t like it, don’t come.
Social drinking - Some other stuff that I can’t remember but hopefully 4X2 has printed elsewhere in this epistle.Thanks to the hare for providing the platform for an evening’s entertainment. Well done, Lem.
On On to my lame effort as a hare next Monday
AKM
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On Monday 26 November we had 25 Harriers 12 Harriettes, 0 new boots and 1 visitor total = 38. Welcome back to returners Cap’n Erik, Marco “Pinoccio” Foltran, and Peter “Dripper” Wallbank.
