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Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers
Running and drinking beer since 1982. Website last updated: 09/05/07
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Run:- 1258 Date:- 30 April 2007. Netherlands National Day.
Location:- Klong Koi Restaurant, Route 345
Hare:- Chrsti and Joost
Scribes:- Maverick, Quentin Chizek and Hash HashThe run according to Maverick.
Decisions, decisions! Monday’s run was in celebration of the Dutch queen’s birthday, but in correspondence between the Hares and the trail master it came to light that the queen in question sadly passed away a few years ago. So should we be wearing bright cheerful orange, or be wearing black to show respect for the departed? In the end I compromised with an old AGM T-shirt which contained both black and orange.
Dressed in my black and orange T-shirt I set off through a sea of yellow T-shirts to join the Hash Taxi team outside The Landmark. Spinning Dwarf was in charge, and he reported that Canal Rappé had rushed back from Pattaya to attend the run, and that he would be a few minutes late. SD commented that as the traffic is light, leaving a few minutes late shouldn’t cause a problem. As soon as Canal emerged from the Skytrain station we bundled into a taxi and were on our way… slowly. Ten minutes later we were paying our B40 at the Sukhumvit expressway ramp and at last we seemed to be making good progress. As we came round the bend approaching the second stage split we saw that the second stage was full of stationary traffic. A quick decision was required, and on the suggestion of your scribe SD got the driver to continue to Din Daeng and join Chaeng Wattana at Laksi. Now we were really motoring, and No No complimented me on making a good call.
At Laksi we exited from the tollway straight onto Chaeng Wattana Road and straight into the middle of another traffic jam. It took us about 20 minutes to get a few km along Chaeng Wattana, and as both Hash Cash and Hash Cash Ass were in this taxi going nowhere we called ahead to No Good Boyo to collect the run fees. After passing the construction site of yet another ginormous flyover the traffic freed up and we reached the runsite about ten minutes late. Phew!
The GM had generously held the pack, as after all it doesn’t get dark till very late now. We set off beside the main road, and soon the trail took us over a concrete barrier onto a muddy slippery ridge between two rice fields. No Meat was out in front, and at the far end of the field she was calling out ‘Checking!’. As is traditional it was a back check, and we continued along the road a short way before going off to the left. The trail then followed a number of muddy dykes between rice fields which were planted with banana plants or other fruit trees. It was difficult to avoid sliding down into the waterlogged field, and the mud clung to our shoes making it feel like we had lead weights around our ankles. Checks were generally cracked fairly quickly, with No Meat and Canal Rappé using skill and logic and Boobalube running in all directions as if he was demonstrating the kinetic theory of gases.
The trail never seemed to stop going north, and one by one the more sensible hashers decided to call it a day and take a short cut. After heading out for about 5km our GM No Good Boyo valiantly forwent the enjoyment of running the whole trail to escort some visiting Harriettes safely back to start (who says chivalry is dead?). Your scribe make his second wrong decision of the day by continuing to follow the trail. The trail went along a concrete road for a short time, but once again dived off into the fields. By now it was getting dark, and after going through a clump of bushes he was besieged by red ants, and it was no easy task getting his body and sodden muddy T-shirt free of them. Under a full moon No No, Hash Hash and your scribe emerged onto a country lane. We decided that if a taxi came along we would take it, and like manna from heaven after a couple of minutes a taxi with its ‘Vacant’ light came along. I crossed the road ready to negotiate with the driver, and as it slowed down I was ready to open the passenger door. At the last minute I realised that there were already four people in it. So much for ‘manna from heaven’ – I never did believe in god really.
We started walking in the direction of the restaurant, and Hash Hash perceptively pointed out that a local we passed was a policeman. We walked past but soon afterwards he was on his bike and came and asked us where we were going. He was happy with HH’s reply of bpai teeo and it was obvious to us all that he was a mao policeman. Soon after that a smart pickup drove by, and the driver seemed to take pity on us and stopped. After confirming he was going to the 345 we leaped in the back. Hungry Bum walked up out of the darkness but she declined a lift, saying she would wait for the others (what others?). We soon went past Noriega who also declined a ride, and we were sailing along towards a virtually unlimited supply of water and beer. Perhaps there is a god after all. Even in the pickup it took us about ten minutes to get back to the restaurant, so we were very glad we’d swallowed our pride and taken the ride.
Most Hashers were already back and tucking in to the Dutch cheese and marshmallows which the Hares had supplied. The hare Hashendale explained how lucky we were, as when he had done his recces the trail had been a lot longer. It brought to mind a saying about heads and brick walls. While rehydrating a taxi arrived and none other than No Meat got out – is this the first time she has had to get a taxi round part of the trail?
After a decent period of time the circle was called, just as the rain started. The GM called into the circle all those who had returned in motorised transport and about half the circle fell in. He then called in all those who had shortcut and the other half of the circle fell in. Only the hares didn’t fall into either of these two categories. As the RA was still out on the trail 4x2 was stand in RA. Just about all the PoW nominations were for runners who hadn’t returned so lookalikes were appointed. Just as voting was about to start Noriega and others arrived back and the PoW election disintegrated. It was then noticed that Canal Rappé was still missing in action.
At the On On On there was plenty more Dutch beer consumed, and just when most of us were about to call it a day Canal Rappé appeared. It was suggested that he had sheltered to avoid the torrential rain, but in fact he had kept going and only now completed the course, about four hours after setting off.
Long Live the Queen of the Netherlands (R.I.P.)
OnOn.
MaverickThe run according to Quentin
This Mondays Run was a Double Dutch Treat, Hares: Frisky and Hashendale, Located at Klong Koi Restaurant.
The run seen many of new events. Highlights were as follow:
1) Many misdirected runners through the rice paddies
2) The ten pounds of gumbo mud weight's to each running shoe
3) Runners finishing on paper off paper on motorcycles in Taxi and in the Rain
4) No Man Will Be Left Behind (except Matt)
5) Franks Engagement to a Beautiful Thai Girl
6) Wonderful Food
7) KaraokeThe run took place along paths that followed along water ways and in to the rice paddies where the fun began. Some stayed left to the road systems, some went right on the road and others followed KC into the Rice Paddies. The circle started on time with 4 runners missing (KC, Linda, Matt and KC's Wife) KC & Wife with Linda showed up by Taxi just as the circle ended. Matt still missing, No Man Will Be Left Behind. Upstairs at the Klong Koi was a wonderful dinner that provided a wonderful setting for telling lies. Every 10 minutes someone would call out ON IN to our lost runner Matt, who showed up at 9:30. I am told this is a record for the Monday Hash? We were all present to witness Franks engagement to a beautiful Thai Girl. An engagement ring was quickly put together on the spot. Latter a few of us belted out our best notes on the mike in the private Karaoke Room.
This was my last and fifth run as a visitor, I hope to carry on Hashing by joining the Hash in Calgary Canada. Thank you to all of you for introducing me to the Hash and always providing a great time. See you again this Winter. Quentin
The run according to Hash Hash.
I was informed by ON Sec that another scribe had volunteered for a write up, but since I had already dashed this off in the early hours of Tuesday I decided to tidy it up and send it out. A run like this deserves as much chronicling as possible.
Frisky and Joost, were the hares, celebrating some Dutch holiday commemorating the date the Queen of the Netherlands started smoking, or some such thing.
First the run. An interesting run site, the hares found the only serviceable restaurant in the area, a good place and now easily accessible owing to the completion of another new road in Bangkok. The hare Joost, Road Man for the Lords of Karma, consulted imminent Hash Historians whose research of the Hash Archives revealed that this area was last Hashed DECADES AGO so we knew there would be no old paper to confuse the pack. There was confusion, but more on that later.
The group who regularly meets in front of the Landmark to share taxis to the run site were a little tardy owing to the rainy conditions and the GM in his benevolence held off the starting time until all arrived.
Conditions were a bit muddy as it had rained the last couple of days and poured down around 3 PM while the Hares were out setting the trail. The location featured orchards and rice patties which made for a fine area. Off the pack went. The first checks were solved with relative ease but the going was ruff and the Hares choose a trail which was particularly difficult due to the lack of traction. At the 3 rd or 4th check the GM - utilizing his superior sense of direction owing to many biking forays in the area - choose to take a short cut and lead a group back to the beer. Later events were to prove the wisdom of this decision.
Soon those remaining on the trail became badly splintered owing to the muddy conditions. The trail was VERY long and darkness steadily descended upon the group. This correspondent fell farther and farther behind and only the dutiful and kind calling of Anal Rape kept me close to the pack. Owing to the strong moonlight the paper was still visible. After running for 15 minutes alone, stumbling in the mud and swatting away swarms of mosquitoes - with only the distant shout of the On Sec to guide me - I found KC, Noriega, Hungry Bum, Maverick and The No No Scot stumbling in the dark, confused and bitching, in search of paper. Lights were spied in the distance. Lights = road, so the decision was made to "Head for the Light" and we made a B-line across a muddy field to a road. Maverick, The No No Scot and myself waved down a kind local pick up and hitched a ride out to the main road. Hungry Bum, Noriega and KC chose to stay out in the darkness and continue the "run". By this time brave Matt was no where to be found.
Back at the restaurant, finished the run at 7:30. The GM was grinning ear to ear pleased at his "abandonment" of the Pack in deference to some female visitors of European extraction ( i.e. white women). These two visitors turned out to be mere tourists as they were not interested in the beer, or fine companionship amongst Hashers, did not want to wait for the circle, did not want to attend the ON ON – only wanted to get a taxi back to Bangkok, presumably to change their soiled Tampaxes. The Hash Karma King struck and they could not get transport for a long, long time forlornly sitting by the side of the road which only further added to their menstrual-bloat discomfort.
The beer flowed and excellent cheese and other delectables awaited the pack. Frisky had fashioned a tasty treat with dates and cream cheese - Wow! I know what I am going to serve at my next cocktail party. Also, there was a free playing card T-Shirt featuring Frisky as the Queen and, of course, Joost as the Joker. Thanks to the Hares!
Soon thundering rain fell down and the GM called a circle. It was brief, but to the point, as we were all huddled together seeking protection from the deluge. Of course our thoughts went out to Anal Rape, Hungry Bum, Noriega and KC, still out on the sodden trail. A moment of silent pray was observed, asking for their safe return.
And if by Divine Intervention who parted the sheets of rain? None other than Hungry Bum, Noriega and KC running ON IN, looking like the proverbial Drowned Rat. To great acclaim Down Downs were awarded.
Off to the ON ON we went. The beer continued to flow and the epicurean delights continued with Frisky's special Pomelo and Chicken salad. I could just see Frisky's maid, working for days to peel and separate the pomelo and mix the salad. But to great effort, very delicious!
The rest of the meal was ordered by Joost and unfortunately was the same old, same old stuff, Tom Yung whatever, green vegetables with garlic and chili, some indigestible pork thing which smelled like the brown stripe up the back of Joost's underwear and of course The Obligatory Egg Dish etc ect…….. And naturally the rice did not come until almosmost everything was finished.
Fortunately the discussion is always the highlight on a BMH3 ON ON. Recently the Bangkok Saturday Hash's ON ON's seem to mirror conversation that I would imagine occurs in Public School dormitories after lights out and before the circle jerk starts. But at a Monday Hash ON ON all the world's conflicts, injustices and wars are discussed and resolved, the latest cultural trends addressed, all mixed with rapier like wit.
A heavy pallor was cast over the ON ON festivities as "Where is Anal Rape?" was a constant refrain. The rain continued and no Matt. Discussions were had about where his bag was, how would we divide the contents, who would inherit his fine array of hair care products? Finally about 10 in trudged Anal Rape glowing with the accomplishment of a Hash to Remember.
***
On Monday 30 April we had 16 Harriers, 9 Harriettes, 0 new boots and 6 visitors, total = 31. Welcome back to KC "Boob-a-Lube" Marshment and Nid "Sizzler".
