Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers
Trash by an anonymous alcoholic

Last updated: 16 Dec 2009

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Run no:- 1396           

Date:- 22 Dec 2009
Location:- Ruang Kao Restaurant
Hare:- No Good Boyo
Scribe:- Multiple Mystery Scribes

 

........ such a relaxed atmosphere had not been seen for some time. Hashers were chatting up giggling
waitresses, telephone numbers exchanged, Big Package called for ''more girls'' as Wan sat on his lap for
a photograph. Spinning Dwarf had the constant attention of two young things and in the meantime local
No Good Boyo made good, was heard making arrangements to meet after closure at the all night 'Bo'
Khao Tom place on Rattanathibet. No No concerned about the time asked Taste's Great for a lift into
town, to which he replied 'hell no, I am having a party here tonight!!' .......

 

WHAAAHHH!!! What tha fock!

…cried the hare when he saw the pack in front of him. Only Harriettes on my run?!?  Where's fockin Ian, and where’s that dirtbag of a Noriega! They stood me up! Mama, why do I deserve this defilement?!? Damn this dung-eating turd-faced fornicating Tickler and his new regime!, …and what a waste of all these kinky Vietnamese birds I arranged for tonight…

…uh wait, on second thought… I can handle more than one for sure, …and there's Iron Pussy, she looks lesbian to me, she might like to try a few too..., hey! we can maybe even share... hehe…

But this moment of erect excitement did not last long. The whining and nagging started already before the run. I-can-not-run-I-think-I-have-a-bro-ken-toe-nail, said 100$ Skidmark. Will it be long?, asked Nut Groper. I don’t want to run in the dark, complained Lion King. By this time the hare had shut down his mind, covered his ears and was looking without focus straight through the rebellious band of bitching bores in front of him.

As soon as the pack set off they lost directions. The Harriettes are used to chatter and follow, not to shut up and decide themselves on own directions. So without any hashers to lead them, they were off paper as soon as they left the restaurant. Even Canadian Bacon was of no help, she paid attention to everything but paper (I have to focus, observe what's happening, as later I have to say something funny in the circle…boohoo.. why did the Bog pick meeee?!?…).

The 'run' was quite predictable, the Harriettes went shopping, stopped once or twice for coffee and took a taxi back to the restaurant. I-can-not-stay-for-the-cir-cle-I-have-to-get-up-ear-ly-in-the-mor-ning, said 100$ Skidmark. Can’t stay, headache, added Joylide easily. Me as well, I have a very busy bar to attent to, uttered Kim. I just take these two bottles of Heineken and drive home, reported No Meat...

By now the unfortunate hare got into trance again…

WHAAAHHH!!! No Good Boyo wakes up in a pool of sweat… pfew, it was only a bad dream, and nothing wet about it. With relief he notices three frightened Vietnamese birds beside him… oh yeah… me and the boys we did have a hell of a run!!!

But then he finds out he’s chained to the bed…, and out of the bathroom appears Iron Pussy…, dressed in shiny leather…, the whip… WHAAAHHH!!!

 

Drunken Donut almost became Drunken Pancake last Monday night as the screeching
vehicle nearly flattened him in the middle of Ratchapruk Road. That would have put a
damper on the festivities and what a great festive atmosphere it was last Monday. The
run was similar to others in the area laid by No Good Boyo with lots of good orchard
jungle to traverse. A small pack of 18, confusion over old paper and a long 8 km trail
meant many were returning in darkness.
Why did the frog cross the road? To show the serving girls of the restaurant that he
had guts.
It was the first time in modern BMH3 history, according to Spinning Dwarf, that there
were no females in the pack. Felt like a Nonthaburi run and come to think of it all but
three or four of the pack are Nonthaburi regulars. Pre-circle the Doobie Brothers lead
by Hash Hash were getting stoked.
Why did the frog cross the road? …… Because his car was about to be toad.
Post -circle we had a memorable meal thanks to the attractive service girls, including
Momma Cass table dancing and some laughable karaoke singing from Bruce Weeks.
Thanks to Lem for generously subsidizing the meal. What an awesome evening …
let’s do it again sometime soon.

 

Fresh on my Christmas and new year holiday and finding myself free on a
Monday, I was happy to be returning to the BMH3 after such a long absence.
Knowing it was Uncle NGB setting in Nonthaburi assured a healthy
anticipation of a good run and a good time. Little did I know that my
already-lofty expectations would be so far exceeded.
A hearty pack of runners enjoyed a well-laid trail through good garden
country. The usual amount of fuck-ups and lost paper. Good pace and just
enough running in the dark to add a little suspense. A number of latecomers,
including our new fearless leader Tickler, managed to do a healthy portion of
it in the dark but made it back, if not from the wrong direction. Great run,
through great country.
But the real reason this turned out to be such a great run was about to be
revealed to one and all. As we indulged in our social drinking and gradually
meandered into the circle when called by the GM, it became clear. There were
no women present! By some strange alignment of the stars, moon, and a
recently-observed large green orbiting orb, every harriette in town and every
one of the other 3 billion of their ilk decided NOT to come to the BMH3 on
this night. Anyone who knows men, knows to what lengths we will go to
create just such a scenario. And here it happening just by sheer serendipity.
We had a great circle, devoid of the usual conflicts or histrionics over some
lewdness, rudeness, perceived slight, or indiscretion. Hash Cash was in such
fine form that visitors and returners received unconditional pardons.
Drunken donut entertained us with a drunken dash into highway traffic.
The on-on-on was an entirely enjoyable event. Again devoid of any intrigue
or drama. No need for wine glasses tonight! Just a good meal and lots of
good cold beer, ably dispensed by the Vietnamese hospitality crew. So
pleasant was the experience that long after the nicely-subsidized initial round
was complete, hundred-baht notes just kept magically appearing to extend
the evening. And extend it we did.
Ah….hashing once again as it was meant to be. Nothing but simple(ton)
hounds out looking for a good run, a few good laughs, and a good piss-up.
Nothing more, nothing less. This night, the universe delivered in spades.

 

After a superb weekend's hashing and drinking in Kanchanaburi with the BH3, the
question uppermost in my mind and I wound my way to the run site in a taxi was
"Could such a weekend be topped by the BMH3 on a standard Monday night?" One
often has the feeling that Monday runs after a big weekend are a bit anticlimactic.
Well, after last Monday's run I can assure you that they needn't be. All that is needed
are the right ingredients and a memorable evening is assured.
What are those ingredients?
Simple: a hare of the calibre of No Good Boyo; a trail through the orchards of
Nonthaburi featuring khlong jumping, broken bridges; lost runners; a treacherous runin
in the dark courtesy of it being the shortest day of the year; a spirited circle; and an
on-on-on featuring loads of slutty beer girls and Vietnamese waitresses.
Oh, and one more thing: an all-male pack.
Incredible how it transforms the atmosphere. Everyone in fine form. Beer flowing in
the circle. The humour coming thick and fast. Girls sitting on laps. No whining. No
differential pricing. No hassles.
Why can't we do this shit every Monday?
Thanks to every man who was there for his contribution to a great night. And special
thanks to the harriettes of both sexes who didn't show up. Please consider doing so
again.

 

What a special afternoon. Our BKK Monday hash started the run
without a Harriettes, which is quite weird (Where have all the old lady
gone!!!). The hare instructs us to follow his fine shredded paper and
beware of the old one. But even the hare have warn us there were some
FRB (like Joost) got confused. Also there are numbers of late comers
(GM) cannot find the On In. Anyways the highlight was at the On On On.
We’re surrounded by young and pretty Vietnamese gals, especially our
lady chef that come out and tease us by dancing on the table. The night
was great. Good food, plenty of beer. Someone stay there till 2AM.
Thank you hare for the great evening

***