BMH3 Run report

Run 1499, 12 Decvember 2011
Location: Prakanong, Soi Farmwattana
Hares: Drunken Donut and Sexy Beast
Scribe: ? (but probably 4x2)

A TALE OF 2 RUNS

“It was the best of runs; it was the worst of runs.” (Guess which half of the quote was a comment from the Harriers & which half was spoken by the Hares!)

Words of caution to Hares that dare to offer a “live” run: the pack will NOT wait as long are you may wish (never expect more than 5 minutes headstart!).

Words of advice to Hares that dare to offer a “live” run: do not stroll along and lolly-gag holding hands cause the FRBs will always catch you (as happened within 20 minutes of pack setting out!).

A goodly-sized pack of mongrels having congregated in a derelict lot littered with rubbish and teeming with locals playing an assortment of ball games while most of the Harriers were, well, playing with their balls.

Then just before time Maverick wandered up muttering about complicated mis-directions, putting him in the same keague with JumpStart who meandered up seconds before On On was called.

Giving the intrepid Hares at least a 7-minute head start, the pack began baying and set out in pursuit through what turned out to be a rather circuitous route up sois, down along klongs, into and through the entrance of a Lotus full of bemused shoppers doubtless repulsed by a gaggle of somewhat-over-the-hill white people drenched with sweat.

At times the trail showed inspiration but a better qualifier is desperation as the markings were either scant or not to be found. Feeble chalk marks were scattered about and a few slips of paper were rumored to have been spotted.

With all the confusion, the group stayed together until just after the Hares were bagged for the first time. But chaos soon reigned supreme as dubious trail sniffing led to Harriers scattering in all directions with most finally seeking refuge in the back of assorted taxis to wend their way back to the start.

A handful of souls were lucky to follow in the wake of Tickler’s bloodhound scenting and pit bull determination, both attributes normally fail him entirely.

For their valiant efforts, the Hares were rewarded with the normal complaints and abuse along with several Down-Downs. Uncharacteristically, Prick of the Week was awarded to a male, presuming that Scots bother to divide themselves into genders. His sin was inflicting alcohol poisoning onto an innocent soi dog that was foolish enough to take a nibble of his gaunt shins. Alas, this distracted the otherwise redoubtable AKM from bestowing PoW honors to a very attractive Swedish-Thai super model whose name AND phone number remain in mystery to your devoted scribe.

The On-On-On began with the restaurateur in a snit due to our late arrival. In turn, he served up indifferent food at exorbitant prices. Yet all was well since the beer was so fricking cold that it iced up when uncorked making for a blissful ending of a sketchy run.

... and the short one from LCBS

Run #1499 was live-hared through the sois of Prakanong by the mini me combo, Drunkin Donut and Sexy Beast. It was a clear, cool evening and a good group of hounds assembled, waited 8 minutes then took chase. True to form, the drunkin beasts led the pack through a maze of subsois, only to be caught and released by front runners Ajarn Kee Maow, Barbie, No No, Auntie Climax and the Tickler at the 2.5 km mark. The run continued another 7.5 km along streets, klongs, through markets, malls, football games, and clever false trails. The last hound, Spank Me came in at 20:00 claiming his driver provided inadequate directions.

No No called the circle and punished the hares for being caught, Late Coming Ballslapper for exhibiting the common female characteristic of shopping with a man, not money, Barbie and Ajarn Kee Maow for whispering "on on" on the trail, then making shameless passes at a hariette who fondly refers to them as Great Uncle. It was Hand Job's final Monday run so the traditional song was sung. Finally, Robert of Scotland was named Prick of the Week based on various crimes including racing (?).

Many thanks to the hares for a good run and enjoyable ononon at Love Canal's lair, the Secret Restaurant.

Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers