BMH3 Run report

Run 1520, 7 May 2012
Location: Romklao Soi 3
Hare: Goran 'Fawlty Towers' E.
Scribe: No No

The pack set off at great speed across a field close to the start – proof that the FRB’s will never, ever, allow the facts to confound their optimism.

Back two or three minutes later, tail between their legs, but – at least – in true
FRB fashion – they hadn’t actually been calling, quite simply because there wasn’t a single shred of paper in that direction. (Truly these guys have used tampons for brains……)

Pack at last found the paper, and went thundering off down the Khlong, and shot up to the left into a massive (and rather long) back check.

After that, resumed their progress down the khlong and across several bridges.

The Hare had promised that it was a DIY run of up to 11 kms (albeit optional), and – in fact – the max distance done was around 7.5 kms.

After consuming lashings of cold beer (well done Tickler’s driver) the circle started with the usual punishment being meted out to Returners, and Visitors.

Drew Jeschke assumed the role of RA and started off by punishing Dunkin’ Donut for being such a twat as to appoint a new French President (although – to be fair – DD swore blind he hadn’t actually voted for the guy). Quite why the French would want to appoint a Dutchman to screw up their country even more than it already is, wasn’t actually explained, but I suppose that he might be just as good as the last refugee who held the post.

All the Slater fan club who had raced back from Vientiane to run on the Monday night Hash were also punished for their obsequious behaviour.

Finally the Kardiak Kids were called into the circle. Those are the posers who rushed around semi naked (in a Muslim area no less !!) with their disgusting white corpulent bodies (sporting a black chest strap) terrifying the innocent young Islamic virgins. Such an obsession with their physical condition resulted in comments after the run such as “I was doing a 160 a minute” by which I assume that they were referring to their pulse rates - otherwise the mind truly boggles.

If these young bloods want to follow in this scribe’s illustrious footsteps, they shouldn’t hesitate to contact me, as I have the personal cell phone numbers of all the best heart surgeons in BKK.

Later on, one of the Scandi-hoolis suggested that a fair Hash maiden should do the run write–up in Tagalog - and then we could get the Google Translator to run it into English, back into Tagalog, and then back into English again, which would almost certainly have resulted in an even bigger load of bollocks than that which you are currently reading.

Unfortunately the young maiden concerned pleaded that she was going back to her homeland and probably wouldn’t be able to use her computer for several days (I think they call this state of affairs there, a “brown-out”).

The On-on-on was a select, delicious and very distinguished affair, and was kindly sponsored by the Hare – for which many thanks.

Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers