Run: 1715 22 February 2016
Location: Sakuna Fishing Park, Theparak
Hare: Mike 'Love Canal' R

The German who Kept Schtum

About ten minutes into Monday's run the OnSec (and acting GM) came up behind me and asked me if I'd like to do the write-up. I said that I wouldn't 'like to', but as part of my duty to the august body (the Hash, not the OnSec's) I would put finger to keyboard and produce a few words. These are they.

My thoughts for the next few minutes were that there was absolutely nothing to write about. The trail had been following a klong path and Boobalube had gone off in the wrong direction a few times. Totally unremarkable. However, I was soon reminded that the hare – Love Canal – always strives to produce a 'different' run and this soon became evident.

After a few more klong paths and some tricky checks we came across a beer stop – on a klong path no less. Mein host was a reclusive German, who with the help of his Thai wife served hot and sweaty Hashers with ice cold Leo beer. Some of the FRBs declined and carried on, and your scribe reluctantly took a can on the assumption that we must be almost home. After we'd been imbibing for a few minutes there was a discussion about which way the trail went. It was clearly marked forward, but wiser members said we should go back. 4x2 pulled up the GPS app ('program' to older readers) on his phone and it showed that going in either direction it was a long way home.

Your scribe followed the markings and went forward followed my most of the remaining pack, and after about 100m the klong path came to an end and the trail went off to the left. The only trouble here was that the trail was blocked by a locked gate, and we had to climb round the gate dodging rusty barbed wire – just as well no one had stayed for a second beer. We soon came to a check which appeared to have been broken by the non-stop FRBs, but the way it had been broken just took us back to the out trail and the beer stop. To cut a long story (and run) short, a group of us concluded that we had lost it and the best course of action was to follow the out trail home.

The trail being largely on klong paths, and without having to worry about checks and searching for marks we were able keep up a good pace, and your scribe accompanied by Boobalube, Checkless, Man Called Horse (not 'Horse Face' as the acting GM called him) got back to the beer soon after it got dark. A few Hashers were already back, including No No, Hayter Peacox and George of the Jungle who had encountered some unfriendly dogs and an unfriendly local who accused him of trespassing on private land.

Many wanted to know where the trail actually went, and the hare explained that he had instructed Mein Host at the beer stop to tell Boobalube to carry on forward (and get lost) and the rest of the pack to go back and find the trail soon afterwards. Your scribe can only conclude that either the hare isn't as fluent in German as he thinks he is (or couldn't shout loudly and slowly enough in English), or mein host saw it as an opportunity for schadenfreude against the rosbifs who want to leave the EU.

As social drinking progressed it became apparent that a number of people who had started the trail hadn't yet finished it. A few people arrived back in dribs and drabs and a taxi. Just before the circle four runners arrived back in a taxi – Splat and Father Joseph, Tapeworm and Mudguard. With a bit of prompting from the wings the stand-in GM conducted the circle, and then RA Boobalube did his stuff. For some reason when it came to prick of the week he nominated people who had birthday's coming up soon, but as there were no visiting Harriettes the award went deservedly to Love Canal for relying on a German for the success of the run.

All in all, an 'interesting' evening with plenty of exercise. Thank you hare.