Run 1876, 4 March 2019
Location: Petchaburi Soi 32
Hare: Pussy Virus
Scribe: Bullit

Pussy Virus is well known for setting fun runs through interesting city areas with a beer stop or two. Last Monday’s run therefore held promise, and it delivered; with no less than 4 beer stops, two historic forts, at least six major temples, several old relics (artifices that is, not the ones in the pack), a trip along vibrant Khaosan Road, and a Klong boat ride to there and back.

The instructions told us that we should assemble on top of the bridge in Petchburi 32 and that parking would be limited. In fact parking was so limited that the beer truck had to park a couple of hundred metres away in a partly demolished development site. Naturally we all gravitated to the beer truck and it was from there that acting GM Gringo asked the Hare for his briefing.

The Hare advised that we were all to board a klong boat which would take us to point A, the Phan Fa pier, where the run would start. It would be an A to A run, with a live hare, and beer stops. He added that if you missed the boat back you would have to find your own way back to the beer truck.

So off we all went, stumbled and fumbled on to a klong "express" boat, and sped off to Phanfa.

On arrival at point A, Pussy Virus ran off, and after only the barest of pauses the rest of us set off in hot pursuit. And a hot, desperate pursuit it was. There’s nothing to get you up to speed and keep you there like the fear of being lost at night in the maze of Rattanakosin’s dimly-lit back alleys. Some of the walkers were even seen breaking into an occasional two-step and silently mouthing the mantra "I am lost, I am not Chinese, please take me to Phanfa."

The trail led us past Mahanakorn Fort and then into the park behind it where we promptly lost it. There was only a short delay finding it again before it crossed over Maha Chai Road and down a klong path alongside a major temple compound. It turned right into the temple area, passed the famous Loha Prasart, and then back out again into a maze of small alleys and back streets. At some point we ran past the BMA building, then another major temple compound before reaching a wide road and, rather unexpectedly, the first beer stop after less than 2 kms into the run. Nothing wrong with that!

Thus refreshed and beered up we set off again belching along more alleys and lanes until we reached Ratchadamnoen Road, crossed it, and turned left into Khaosan Road. What used to be just one road catering for backpackers has now grown into a huge area of guest houses, hotels, open air restaurants, bars and markets catering mainly for budget tourists. Lots of open air bars and restaurants opened up on to the streets and it was good fun running through them. The second beer stop was in the middle of all this, outside a place I think was called Madame Musur, much to the amusement of the diners there.

Off again, to a ripple of applause from the diners, eventually leaving the Khaosan area, and coming to the area next to the brightly lit Phra Sumen Fort and park. Our little group had a problem finding the trail here, and with the hundreds of tourists milling around it was no good asking the locals if they’d seen a group of sweaty farangs run by. There were sweaty farangs everywhere. Two young English girls finally came to our rescue and directed us down the alley next to the Groove bar. Sadly, all we came across was the trail.

More running along narrow alleys, then out onto a main road past the Department of Industrial Works (just in case you didn’t know it) then northwards to the bridge over Klong Banglamphu and the third beer stop. At least I think it was there, right by the bridge, but the beer was starting to tell.

After more refreshing ale we set off once more along the back streets and alleys generally following the direction of Klong Banglamphu, with occasional side trips. As usual the locals were very friendly and usually got a good laugh out of watching us go by. One middle aged generously built woman vendor felt the urge to join in, so she ran for a good 200 yards down the road with us, with her money bag slung over her shoulder, to loud cheers from her pals she had just been sitting with.

One last stretch along the klong, then round the busy 7 way intersection to point A, Phanfa pier, and the fourth beer stop outside the 711. Great.

We waited quite a long while for everyone to get back, and only Senor Guzman failed to do so. What to do? Finally the executive decision was made to take the boat back, and trust that Bob, who was carrying his backpack, had enough resources with him to see himself alright.

Back at the beer truck, after a generous amount of drinking time, Gringo called the circle. First in was our Visitor from Hong Kong, I believe his name was Jennifer, followed by Returners, our good friend Raincoat, on his annual visit from Canada, No Meat and Weed Eater, Dunkin Donut, Gringo, Southern Pansy, and the Hare himself.

Then it was the Hare’s turn to be in the barrel, to receive the all-important verdict on the run. Cries of great run, and best run ever were heard.

Dunkin donut took over as RA. Horny Viking copped it for being a cheap Charley; Weed Eater and No Meat for not having come together in a year (they explained that this was because the Hare begged them to come for him, when KC said he couldn’t come, or something like that); Horny Viking and Southern Pansy for planning to run up the Banyan Tree Hotel staircase instead of going on the Sunday run; Sweetie and Sheepshagger for something my limited knowledge of Franglais failed to translate; plus no doubt more but after 4 beers stops and post run beers – I tend to forget.

Contestants for POW were The Hare, our Visitor, Southern Pansy, Horny Viking and Weed Eater. Quite why any of them were called in I have absolutely no idea, but since when has that been important.

The Weiner of course went to our visitor. Welcome to BMH3 Jennifer.

Many thanks to the Hare for laying a great trail which was a lot of fun and enjoyed by all. You can do it again any time you like.

Scribe’s Ass Note:

The Scribe pissed off early, giving Tink and Raincoat a brief ride to the perpetual traffic jam in Petburi Road. T&R bailed, with nary a by-your-leave, and followed PV’s concise instructions to the OnOnOn venue: "At the end of the soi, where Bullit will get stuck in the traffic for hours, go across Petburi, and into the night market, straight through to the rear, and look for the rest of the pack in one of the two restaurants there."

Email to PV from Tinker the following morning: "Darn, Raincoat and I missed the OOO. It's a shame after all your effort! (And we were hungry!) We went through the market to the back. There were five restaurants, some with open-air rooftop seating. We waited for 20 min, but never saw anyone but us! Regrets, T./ P.S. Guzman ever show?"

Response from PV: "Gringo, Drunkin’ Donut and I ended up having a fine dinner at one of the outdoor restaurants in the back of the market. Before arriving, we had to look after Sweetie, who had had just about enough beer, and get him in a taxi, so maybe we came later than you? Guzman never showed."

Tinker: "Sweetie strikes again! I must email Diarrhea and ask him not to send his uncle out alone. (Done!) Thanks again for the run. Never realized how large the old Khao San backpacker area has grown. The TAT should organize tours of the area for local Thais so they can watch the freak show." (Us?)

Final word from Diarrhea, all the way from Yurp: "Perhaps I should start an aging expat escort and care service business. I think demand is building over there. I'll maybe call it Old Gimmers R'Us."

Final final word from Scribe: You’ve got it, with a name like that Tink can’t wait to join.