Run: 1906, 31 September 2019
Location: Pattanakan Soi 25
Hares: Eat Me assisted by 4x2

This week's run was set by veteran Hasher Eat Me assisted by an even more veteran 4x2 from an easy to get to location – Pattanakan Soi 25. As a result a lot of Hashers turned up early and had plenty of time to solve the world's problems. No. 1 on the list was the pollution currently engulfing Bangkok as the season transitions from rainy to dry and cool. Gringo reported that his pollution meter almost broke when he put it outside his window such was the pollution. The government line is that it is all foreign pollution coming from neighbouring and not-quite-neighbouring countries, but it was pointed out by an old Thai hand that it used to be blamed on dust blowing down from the Korat plateau.

With such an engrossing discussion, in what seemed like no time at all the GM called the pack to order and the hare gave us instructions for the run. We were to follow yellow paper and white chalk, and in no circumstances should be follow white paper – unless there was yellow paper there as well. We set off down a small soi outside the car park, and after having spent an exhausting weekend fighting soft sand on the Bike Hash near Sri Racha Tiger Zoo your scribe was in no condition to keep up with the FRBs who were disappearing into the distance.

GM Checkless broke away from the FRB pack and starting running back towards the start. I thought this was too brazen to be an attempt at shortcutting, so perhaps he'd left his phone behind. Unfortunately, what he had forgotten was not his phone but someone to do the write-up. All the FRBs were safe from such duties as he couldn't catch up with them, but I, the lame duck at the back of the pack, got stuck with the job.

Soon the trail turned right along a klong path, and followed it for a long way crossing the railway (not a high-speed train in sight) and then under Rama 9 Road. It was at this point I had a feeling a déjà vu - not bad for someone who can't remember what he did five minutes ago, let alone a week ago - not bad for someone who can't remember what he did five minutes ago, let alone a week ago. Yes we were on the same trail that Normal set the week before. I was walking with No No, and he announced that according to his navigation equipment we were only a few hundred metres from the beer truck, but I thought there must be some mistake as it seemed that we had been heading away from the start. Before long we turned right along another klong, and lo and behold there was the welcome site of the congested, noisy, polluted Rama 9 Road just in front of us, when I thought we were in outer-Ramkhamhaeng somewhere. The trail took us under Rama 9, and continued beside the klong to Pattanakan. By now the muezzins were calling the faithful to worship, so with the imminent arrival of darkness (physical, not spiritual) I decided it was time to shortcut back to worship a Leo beer.

Despite having shortcut, my walking mate No No and I weren't the first back. Pussy Virus was there having completed the whole trail, and the Captain and Rawhide arrived soon after, having completed what I believe a completely fictional trail. After that there was steady flow of arrivals with one of the last being Boob-a-lube who had clocked 11+km. Mongolian Crotch was missing, but Wiggler had phoned her and she was on her way. During the social drinking there was much talk about the number of moons that could be sighted. Someone spoiled the illusion by explaining that they were balls attached to the power lines so helicopter pilots could see them and avoid them, and they proved their worth as soon afterwards a helicopter flew by without getting entangled in the cables.

After a period of social drinking the GM once again called the pack to order, and started awarding down downs. A notable returner was the Pink Panther, who hasn't honoured us with his presence for almost a year – Welcome back! The GM announced that henceforth runs will start at 5:15 because of the dark evenings. He had been oscillating between 5pm and 5:15pm like a roulette ball that can't decide whether to settle on a black or a red number, but now he had made his mind up.

Pussy Virus along with his PM2.5 generating cigar was the RA. All the retirees were called in for campaigning for a 5pm start, ignoring all the hard working (and not so hard working) younger Hashers, Sizzler and Crash were in for discussing plans to create their own Tinder dating app instead of running on the trail and Mongolian Crotch was called in (when she arrived) for getting back late. Prick of the Week candidates included Normal for laying too much paper the week before, Wiggler and Tom Yum Gung for something else, and Rawhide for having the temerity to suggest that some statements made by the prime minster in New York (about Thailand having no pollution?) weren't completely true. Rawhide was the winner by a large margin.

Many thanks for Eat Me and her assistant 4x2 for a good evening.

OnOn to Sri Nakarin Soi 45