Run 2040, 30 January 2023
Location: Nonthaburi, Mooban Ratchapreuk Villa
Hare: Spinning Dwarf

Anonymouse has advised. "I’ve kept it very PC although that is not in keeping with men of my vintage". I don’t particularly enjoy doing the run write up however as a loyal member and servant of BMH I consider it my duty to do so. That said I will try to adopt a cunning new strategy of making the write up so tedious that nobody will ever ask me to attempt it again.

Things got off to a bad start with the Misdirections truly living up to their name. My taxi driver with whom I had earlier negotiated a fixed price seemed very keen to get somewhere fast and this didn’t have to be my intended destination. The fixed price of course resulted in no kilometre readings showing on the meter so I was left estimating distances from elapsed time and estimated speed. Of course given my advancing years the mental calculator is now a bit slow so by the time that I had estimated where I was I found that I was no longer there. Hence I didn’t see the large green bill board as we flashed past (but this might also be in part because the green billboard had inexplicably turned purple since the Misdirections had been issued).

Anyway once at the run site, at the pre-designated time the GM invited Spinning Dwarf to address the assembled masses. The hare informed us that the run would be like ones thirty years ago. I thought great, that was when my hips and knees used to function correctly. I was really looking forward to this. However he cautioned (and I got the impression that this was for KC’s benefit) that it was a compact area so we shouldn’t be over enthusiastic at checks and stray off trail as that would f… it up. We were also informed that there was a beer stop towards the end of the trail.

Off we went and we were soon running/walking through orchards - very pleasant. However that brief enjoyment was rudely spoiled when we arrived at our first water crossing. It was the round trunk of a tree across a gap of several feet - quite an ordeal for those of us who are vertically challenged. Thankfully some kind person (Virginia Slim?) had placed a vertical pole in the middle of the gap that you could use to provide some stability. With the water crossing safely negotiated by all (that may be factually incorrect as I was unable to station a reporter on site to monitor all crossings) we ran/walked/stumbled a hundred yards or so (that’s 91.44 metres or so for those of a metric persuasion). Then as feared by some we reached water crossing number 2. Similar to number 1 but more challenging (perhaps the trunk was rounder or the gap larger). Several of us used the assistance of an overhanging palm frond which thankfully was not infested with red ants but was quite strong.

Not content with these two crossings the hare took the trail to a third water crossing which superficially seemed ok - nice and wide with properly cut slats resting on two parallel beams. However closer examination revealed that some of the slats were rotten and some were not attached to the beams. The only safe way to cross was to spread your legs (spreading your legs is often a good strategy) wide enough so that you had a foot above each beam and do an ungainly shuffle across.

Your scribe lost so much time on the second water crossing that he had lost sight of the pack by this point. Thankfully checks had been broken. However I was suspicious when walking alone I came to an extremely well marked section designed such that you couldn’t miss it. Of course it was a false trail: a very nice false trail leading down to the river. Lots more twists and turns before arriving at the very welcome beer stop. After taking a breather we took off again, although I don’t think that there was any full on running by this stage.

Back at the on-in it became apparent that we were missing a key figure. It transpired that Tinker had taken a tumble somewhere between the beer stop and the on-in. Some kind Hashers kindly put Tinker back together again and he later appeared at the circle displaying copious amounts of bandages.

When the GM called the circle she seemed very concerned that the circle was more square than circle. It’s good that someone wants to maintain the high standards that we have become accustomed to on BMH.

The general consensus in the circle was that it was a great run augmented by the inclusion of the beer stop.

Noriega was selected as POTW by the usual democratic methods employed by BMH so I have no clue why it was him.

After some social drinking a large number of us retired to the On-on where barbecued food and beers were consumed. Altogether a very fine evening.

Dear Hasher if you’ve read to the end of this beautifully written piece of prose I’d be amazed.