Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers
Run Report
Last updated: 28 September, 2009
Run no:- 1383 Date:- 21 September 2009
Location:- Rama 9 Road, Soi 19
Hare:- Bruised Willie
Scribe:- Canal Rapee
I have been tasked with scribe duties and naturally in no small part due to my hectic schedule have forgotten to do so until late this Sunday morning so if I forget 95% of what happened, please forgive me, or don't forgive me, up to you.
The run, which cleverly started from the junction of Rama 9 and soi 19 set off down the highway and then into soi 11 and onward into the hinterland. As to why we had to run all the way down the highway to get to soi 11 rather than just starting there, the hare had some feeble excuse such as no place to park or hold the circle around soi 11. Free beer was later granted to the hare for his atrocity.
On down soi 11 we went with lots of twists and turns. Man boobs Lavoie showed off his devil may care demeanour through the garbage dump. 4 of us gingerly and carefully made our way through the dump taking care not to step on a nail or other obstruction that may cause a twisting of ankle or tumble into whatever it is that Thai people deposit into their rubbish locations. Lavoie in his ever dashing and debonair way, sprinted over the garbage and in 10 or 12 long strides, he impressively (read stupidly) covered the 15 meters of garbage unscathed only to find a check. Marc then sprinted left to do a long check and very quickly saved the day by solving a check that would have taken any other man 2 to 5 seconds longer to solve. 3 cheers for the Boobs of Man.
Not that we could ever have too many Marc Lavoie stories, let's nonetheless move on. The trail itself was cleverly laid and the hare advised this scribe that he did 10 - 12 reccies of the area in order to set such a convoluted, twisting turning run of such magnitude. Let this be the new standard of haremanship moving forward, there should never be a run set without minimum 10 reccies, the duration of said reccies being not less than 2 hours per. Please no bullshit excuses like I have a job, my wife is a cunt or other feeble bullshit. Just do it!
Onward the run went, through every possible little offroad segment imaginable, through barb wire fences which lore has it Steve Furst opened his face on perhaps a year ago. We can all see the damage done to poor Steve's face although I though he always looked that way even in our first meeting many years ago. This day there was no such marring, scaring or other facial alterations to be had. Rather boring that.
Many people half way through the run thought hopefully the run would not take them through any waterways, mudways or other moistened conditions that would cause them to have to dry their footware out post run. And most people did indeed not get their feet wet, not because the 2nd half of the run didn't contain any water, more because they were pussy shortcutters that couldn't hack the devilish difficulty of this "True Hash" run. The few runners that did stay on trail did indeed plow through sections of water, true in their pursuit of hashmanship that says shortcutting is for pussies, despite what Spinning Todd and Gengis would try to have you believe. i.e. that they are minds on a different level and their shortcutting isn't really shortcutting at all, it is more their efforts to understand the world on a higher level, trying to know the alternate way and not to succumb to the layman's and FRB's mantra of "if the hare made the effort to lay a good trail, I should at the very least give the fucker the respect he deserves by at least attempting to follow his paper".
Toward the end of the run as darkness descended paper was indeed becoming more difficult to find. The hare advised he threw paper every 3 meters or so but we believe he threw it too far as there seemed to be sections of 20 and 30 meters apart and occasionally even more that were barren of paper. The FRB's came in at 1:05, with about 10 people actually coming in on paper. There was a tall guy who apparently made it to the Onin sign within a reasonable amount of time only to take another 30 minutes to make it from there to the actual circle spot. No idea what massage parlor he stopped at. Sweety and Gilemolester came in much later on the back of a couple of motocy taxis. They and their drivers all came into the circle for a downdown. Noriega, regaled in his hash motocy jersey explained to the real drivers what the hell was going on and gave them shit for going out of their jurisdictions and picking up drivers that were in his area. The drivers chagrined, drank their beer, shook hands with a few people and then drunkenly went on their way to drive other unsuspecting people to their destinations or possibly to their deaths.
My further circle recollection has expired therefore I will not recount the crimes and sins that you also have forgotten.
The ononon was held at a Japanese restaurant not far away. McBruisedWilly generously subsidized the delicious affair and also spend a remarkable amount of time filling the beer drinker's glasses with ice.
All in all, a great run, great drinking, great food and great fun. A successful evening.
As always yours, Matt Canal Rapee Ryder
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