Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers

Last updated: 23 January, 2013

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Run 1557
Location: Krungthep Kreeta Pond
Hares: Shiny Helmet and Four Nipples
Scribe: Harold “Hemingway” H

At 5:17 the hash began under clear skies and a soft wind. With pleasant banter and accompanied by a herd of goats, the hashers explored the hidden ponds of Krungtheep Kreeta. Reaching the first check by 5:30 and after the hashers exhausting all possible routes, "Ajarn Kee Mao" deduced that the Hare “Shiny Helmet” bent a few Hash rules by placing the back check over a kilometer away. So backtracking 8 chalk arrows, the hashers picked up the trail as well as the late arrivals.

With renewed spirits, the pack zipped along the klong, barreled over bridges, and darted through the bush until the next check. Graciously, “Leg Iron” while supervising the checkers, listened out for the call for the approaching runners. Back on paper, the pack was soon lost in a maze of barbed wire, cattle gates and rubbish piles. The continuous roar of “On On!” provided the romantic encouragement for a bull to mount his mate while she ate the paper shards. This temporary delay and detour, allowed “Scottish Bog” to educate everyone that these frisky cows were descendants of Aberdeen cattle. Perhaps this explains the bulls unsuccessful seduction technique.

A kilometer later, the various hash packs were reunited when no one could find a legal exit from a fenced urban meadow. Then on cue from the heavens, the rancher’s wife opened a cattle gate to let the hashers continue their mis-adventure. For the next few kilometers, the hashers were treated with copious amounts of paper during the open straight stretches, but unfortunately the Hare’s generosity of paper ran low during the densely treed and swampy sections.

With only a kilometer remaining, the hashers came to a T section amongst a crowd of children. The arrow hinted to the right, but the children reported that two people matching the description of the Hare and Co-Hare actually went left. As the debate raged, "Maverick" declared, “To hell with these false signs, the cars are to the left.” In the end both trails lead back to the cars, circle and beer.

Whereas the run could be described as pleasantly deceptive, the circle should probably be listed as painfully indifferent. The only subset to effectively communicate their point of view were the mosquitoes. The sex tourist and New Boot from Puerto Rico, laughed at each of the RA “Spank Me” jokes and then cried when denied the Prick of the Week. This honor was reserved for the reunited Father/ Son team that most closely smelled like the prophylactic. Guzman “Forget Me Not” teared up as the circle serenaded him for his 53 years young birthday.

After the last beer was downed and the announcements bungled, the hashers moseyed on over to the grub at Gai Yang Restaurant. The On On On meal was well attended and the hare graciously subsidized the cost allowing each person to pay only 120 baht. On On!