BMH3 Run report

Run 1575
Date: 27 May 2013
Location: Klong Toei Port
Hare: Millenium Bug
Scribe: ?

“I say Jeeves, damned fancy togs what?”
“My Lord, they make you look like an American! Might I suggest that a good British tweed would be more the thing?”
“Oh no Jeeves, I hardly think so! Florescent Lycra is the absolute thing with all my chums at the Hash! “Really Sir!”

“Sir, the gentlerman known as Mr Spinning Dwarf respectfully requests your contribution to the er…. Bug Unsustainable Rehydration Project. I have taken the liberty of advancing said funds but was informed that servicing BURP in an inclement financial climate now requires greater contributions.”
“Dammit All Jeeves, how is it possible that BURP can require that much rehydration? Hasn’t the Bug been rehydrating all afternoon?”
“Quite so Sir, it seems that he is also leaking quite considerably!”

“Well Jeeves, I don’t feel like getting me jolly ol’ feet damp” .
“No Sir. I have ascertained from the boatman that the propeller IS still attached and we may expect to be underway again at any moment Sir.”
“I should jolly well hope so Jeeves. As there are WIMMIN onboard, One would be forced to be chivalrous and go down with the sinking ship and whatnot!”
“Quite so Sir. I have taken the liberty of bringing your waterproof underwear Sir, your sports jacket and Boater. We wouldn’t want you to be improperly dressed on the occasion of the sinking would we Sir? After all, we aren’t Dutch Sir!”
“Er……Jeeves…..it is very off putting to have you next to me, riding a motorbike while I’m running” .
“Yes sir. I noticed that the young Mr Canal Rappe ahead of you is starting to perspire a little from his exer- tions sir, Shall I provide a little moral support for the young man?” .
“Well done Jeeves….ha….erm…we should encourage the little people” .
“Yes Sir. May I proffer another iced towel Sir?”

“I say Jeeves, these checks are a little tricky. The Hare really caught old Virginia Slime out on that one, hah, what?”
“So it would seem Sir. We have seen the gentlemen go past us in different directions several times now. Should I direct him the correct way sir?”
“No I don’t think so Jeeves, he seems happy enough running around. Good idea to bring the teapot Jeeves” .
“Thank you Sir, would you care for some more crumpet Sir?”
“Oh, rather Jeeves!”

“Well knock me sideways Jeeves! What was that blur?”
“I do believe that it may have been a lady Sir!”
“No, no Jeeves that’s just not possible! It’s a well known fact that women’s under garments are no de- signed to facilitate free movement and access….one has to pay first!”
“Oh, very droll Sir. However, I do believe that it was in fact Miss Gassiarsa “Gassy” Nomeat, daughter of the cabbage magnate, Sir Percival “Red Neck” Nomeat. Miss Nomeat is well known for igniting combust- able gases while running sir” .
“By Jove Jeeves, is that so. That would explain why that German fellow Von Buschmann was running with his hair on fire!”
“Yes Sir, though Mr Buschmann , being folicully challenged must run that much faster than others in a similar predicament!”

“Good idea to bring the Rolls Jeeves! I have to admit, I am quite spent. That last check left me behind eve- ryone!”
“Not everyone Sir. The Canadian gentleman, Mr Dwarf and the Australian gentleman Mr Keemeow were last seen going in a completely different direction”
“Well Jeeves, what can you expect from the colonials! What are all these bags?”
“ Sir, I hope you don’t mind but I took the liberty of assisting Ms Jumpstart with her shopping. Of course I hardly realized that there would be so much of it Sir, I must appologise”
“Think nothing of it Jeeves. I think you may have knocked that farmers wife off her bicycle, there was shredded paper in her basket” .
“Most regrettable sir, but I think I missed her” .
“Sir. Would you care for some more champagne before joining the river cruise?”
“I don’t see why not Jeeves. It doesn’t look like the boat is going anywhere any time soon” .
“No Sir, it seems that Mr Bug, a gentlemen of dubious lucidity, is insisting on a recount of the passengers” .
“Do you suggest that I alight the boat so that I am also counted Jeeves?”
“Oh no Sir! Naturally, being English such regulations do not apply to you”

“The boat’s still there Jeeves. I am a little concerned that everyone onboard may be dehydrated” .
“Not everyone my Lord, I have been observing Mr Bug who seems to be constantly hydrating!”
“I say Jeeves, why is Mr Bug weaving around in that curious little dance?”
“I really couldn’t say Sir but he nearly fell into the water that time”

“Ah yes Jeeves, there is nothing like the life on the ocean wave, in the middle of the river, with no engine and death bearing down on you in the shape of a 100 tonne barge! Still we have a Welshman on board and he would have know all about coal”
“Does the coal have some relevance Sir?”
“Not really Jeeves but allows me to mention No Good Boyo”
“Of course Sir!”

“I thought I would wear this polo shirt Jeeves”
“Oh NO Sir! You might be confused with Mr Rape or worse…Mr Bug!”
“How about this one?”
“ No Sir, that one will make you look like Miss Nibbles, that one like Mr Eight (4x2) and that one like the gentlemen known as Lube, Sir. He really is a slippery fellow Sir, you really would not want to be associ- ated with Mr Boob-A-Lube!”
“You are of course right Jeeves”
“ I have taken the liberty of packing your Dinner jacket Sir”
“Thank you Jeeves. I see that the pony tailed chappy is strutting his stuff in the circle”
“That would be the head of the Burmese mafia Sir, a very unsavoury sort Sir. I am somewhat confused why the senior management allow such people of low breeding to attend the Hash”
“That is probably because the chief honcho is a Scot Jeeves”
“Probably drunk then Sir!”
“I say Jeeves, have you reserved my place in the Circle?”
“Yes Sir, I have taken the liberty of placing you between Mr Maverick and Mr Bullet. While amiable enough Sir, they are unlikely to cause any trouble, unlike Mr Sweetie Sir” .
“Really Jeeves?”
“Oh, Yes Sir”

“I say Jeeves, I won’t stay for the dinner”
“Very wise Sir! May I suggest repairing to the Liquorice G-string Club?”
“Jeeves, you an absolute marvel!”

Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers