Run:- 2059, 12 June 2023
Location:- Bang Krachao, Lung Ooh
Hare:- Hash Hash and Virginia Slim

On Sec reckons that you are the only person reading this write up, but you are important and so I’ll continue to summarize the happenings as memory serves.

The prospectus for the event proclaimed an unusual start time of 17:15, for which Hare&Co shunned any knowledge and responsibility. GM, Always Comes Last, keeping with the published schedule called a pre run circle allowing the Hare to give little other than a heads up of a beer stop along the way.

On out and shortly after a customary initial falsey the trail hit klong paths, as expected. The unexpected was a dive into jungle at around 1km. New boot Hand-Cream led the way whilst wizened others stood around waiting for his shout of "checking" which never came, before following him into the shiggy. Meanwhile traveling Hashman Hazukashii continued along the klong path, called "on on", avoided the loop and enticed those partial to a shortcut. To their detriment they missed half a kilometer of delightful scrambling across fossilizing bush, probably the highlight of the tonights Hash, along with the beer stop, the circle, OnSecs humor and a free ononon.

A handful of keen front runners, comprising Tom Yum Gung, No Boyfriend, Codpiece, Gringo and Hand-Cream made for a swift trail and solved/broken checks.

On trail the OnSec entertained Scribe with his depictions of the running styles (gait) of a selection of tonight’s Hashers, namely:
Codpiece - short slapping steps; like a toddler across parquet flooring
Always Comes Last - taught to run by a gaggle of ducks
Gringo - permanently impailed by a broom handle
Turdy - stiff upper body to conserve non existent energy; resembles a constipated John Wayne
Maverick - about to fall on his left side
No Boyfriend - primed to disrupt a man’s thought process
Tom Yum Gung - whoosh, draw new arrow, whoosh, erase new arrow, whoosh!
Booby - injured giraffe impersonator
Hand-Cream - irksome energizer bunny
Hazukashii - get outta ma way Rambo like strides
Spinning Dwarf - insufficient running data available
The Tickler - one day he’s gonna find it
Tinker - sporadic bursts of energy in anticipation of beer near

The pre announced beer stop did appear at 5.5km, shortly after some park running. A beer stop dispensing bottomless bottles of Leo & Chang, marshaled by Co Hare Vagina Slime is the only known situation whereby you’d be pleased to come across this ancient monument of Hashing. Hare&Co spun tales of a right royal piss up in the company of a couple of local party animals during the previous days reccy.

Whilst at the beer stop and just for attention, Codpiece kicked TYG’s bamboo stick off the klong path and watched with an evil grin as she battled with red ants to retrieve it. Thereafter, the sight of Booby galumping towards the lubrication station a good 10 minutes later than anyone else caused the pack to get moving along the next and last 2km of trail.

With the exception of Nibbles who was diligently preparing the nibbles, most bagged about 7km of Bang Krachao Hashing in just over an hour. A bit longer for Tickler who, on arrival at Lung Ooh’s swiftly departed for a flight to Canada where he is needed to pay for an extended family gathering.

A most lively and surprisingly entertaining circle saw all of the attendees take a down down for good reason. Spinning Dwarf, a man reputed to be lacking in empathy and decorum declared today’s trail as the most used in his 3,000 ++ Hash runs in Bangkok. That did not prevent the majority of Hashers from giving the thumbs up for an excellent run, and rightly so.

Perpetual visitor Turdburglar, that miserable son of a Porridge Gobbler who’s been hanging around the Bangkok Hashing scene like a bad smell for the past 6 weeks was suitably serenaded with an impressive rendition of FOYC. Also of circle note was Hand- Cream’s tardy assumption that his joining fee provides the absolute right to take complete ownership of the BMH3. His annoying heckling led to calls of "give him his money back" and earned him "Prick of The Week" by unanimous decision.

Having avoided a rain torrent we dined alfresco on the river against the backdrop of beautiful Bangkok. Conversation was lively and Hare&Co created a warm wooly ambience, broken only by a mass dash to catch a departing long tail boat back to The Port.