You know your Hash Trash arrives
late when you receive it just as the hare is about to set off from home with
a bag of paper to lay the next run. And in today’s case the hare was your
OnSec. A good wine takes longer to ripen in the barrel and I had a few good
laughs reading Bruised Willie’s latest missive before setting off to the
designated starting point.
The trail was to lead us from Pan’s Restaurant through a Pan’s Labyrinth of
dense orchards, red ants, sharp thorns and rickety bridges, topped off with
a torrential downpour in the dark. More traumatic than the Passion of The
Christ.
On the boat taking the pack across to Phra Pradaeng I was interrogated by
Geoff, who seems to suffer from that same garrulous and giggly neurosis that
has afflicted Ed Rubbish and Dingleberry. It was a welcome return for our
lost son Minus Ten, back from more than three years’ exile in Sweden.
We started out through Wat Bang Pueng Nork. I was running behind Frisky and
Jeanine, who kept chatting away excitedly in their Double Dutch when
Noriega, who had been jogging ahead of us in a steady clip, suddenly stopped
and dropped his head. He waved us on and groaned, “Aargh …Women’s talk!”
whilst shaking his head despondently.
Our feared and esteemed GM The Bog had ordered a 5:30pm start and it was
thus getting dark quickly. Finding our way back wasn’t made any easier when
Mr Swirly Face broke a bridge and subsequently took off in the dark without
calling On On. We toiled on regardless, though five hashers subsequently
lost their way and made it back to the restaurant much later. Meanwhile, our
hare had collaborated with the weather gods to unleash a rare dry season
rainstorm on us. In the end, Bog’s defeated army struggled back to the boat
pier. Spinning Dwarf and I stood there admiring the harriettes’ tight wet
T-shirts. In feminist terms, we objectified those ladies.
Back at the restaurant we were greeted in the car park by the hare Bruised
Wally, tall and bald like a large inflatable penis. Had we enjoyed the run,
he wanted to know, his mouth pursed tightly like a virgin boy’s anus. Yes,
was the unanimous reply. A well-laid and interesting trail.
Bridge-breaker Mr Swirly Face had incurred the Wrath of The Bog, and was
brought into the circle for the GM’s hairdryer treatment. What followed
amazed the assembled throng: Mr Swirly Face threw a hissy fit and flounced
out of the circle, angrily disputing the facts. To no avail, as justice was
meted out in the form of a downdown on his knees. The pack later rewarded
him for his antics with the Prick Of The Week.
At the gay-themed restaurant excellent food was served. The hare later
picked up the bill for the evening. Thanks very much for a great time!
***
On Monday 2 March we had 25
Harriers, 11 Harriettes, 0 new boots and 5 visitors, total = 41. Returners
included Michel “Ibo Ibo” Desloover, Bo “Minus 10” Eskesen, Frank “Rub Her
Turd” Kvistgaard, Joost “Hashendale” Zwager, Sunee “Phonnysex”
Patcharapaisan, and Ong “Touch Me” Rattanawong.
