How To Set Hash Runs For
Dummies - A reference for the rest of us!
For Dummies is an extensive
series of instructional books which are intended to present non-intimidating
guides for readers new to the various topics covered. Despite the title,
their publisher takes pains to emphasize that the books are not literally
for dummies but more for runners with a drinking problem. The subtitle for
every book is "A Reference for the Rest of Us!"
The books sporting a distinctive cover — usually a bruised yellow and black
baldheaded eagle cartoon figure known as "Dummies Men" (Hare and Co-hare),
and an informal, hand-writing style logo. Prose is simple and direct.
1. Start by throwing in a full football rectangular size field (soccer field
for you natives).
2. Dump a hundred trees and a thousand bushes.
3. Along the long side of the football field dig a deep ditch and fill it
with dirty water (klong / คลอง in Thai).
4. For background settings arrange heavy passenger and cargo airplanes
landing nearby.
5. Turn up the heat to approx. 38 degrees Celsius or 100.4 Fahrenheit.
6. Invite a bunch of weirdo’s who don’t have a life of their own.
7. Ask the Hare, the Web Master and Newsletter Editor to agree on a set of
directions. The mayhem following will ensure that no one will have a fucking
clue about how to get from A to B. See 8. on how to do this most
effectively.
8. Tell the invited to come to bridge no. 1 only 500 meters from the traffic
light; then last minute move the meeting place to bridge no. 3 some 1,500
meter further down the road.
9. Scattered along the route where the invited guests will later be
trotting, place half naked farmers and young maidens to guide everyone the
opposite way.
10. To assist the dummies who don’t know the shape of a football field –
upside or down - you may indicate the direction by drawing arrows on stones
and tree stubs. Your alternative is to drop pieces of paper that can remain
for the duration of the season until rain falls again.
11. Upon the return guests expect the catering to include at least cheese
and bread (preferable French), pate, red wine and ice cold beer. If stock is
available several dignitaries enjoy Cohibas or Motecristos and your
generosity will be forever remembered.
12. For late adult entertainment try homohop. Kind of dick way crowd
pleasers that previously included fisting, rimming and handballing You can
of course also go for the more traditional such as a teacher or geologist,
i.e. if you think it is funny to guess who the fuck died 23rd November 1634?
***
On Monday 16 March we had 25
Harriers, 10 Harriettes, 0 new boots and 4 visitors, total = 39. Returners
included Jim “Bimbo” Edens, Teerachai “The Pink Panther” Riensubdee, Maew
“Deep Shag” Hutchinson, and Thithaya “Short Shorts” Lukens.
